How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize