going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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