I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize