Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is it penis luge time yet?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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