I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize