Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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