highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize