My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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