I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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