Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have already put on my inside pants.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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