apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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