i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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