I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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