Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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