By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize