Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
it hurts more in the daytime
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize