OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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