I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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