We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize