please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize