you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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