No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize