she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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