I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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