She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
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It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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