Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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