I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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