I just threw up on my dentist
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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