so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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