Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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