Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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