Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
where are you?
Hypothermia
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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