hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize