Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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