please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize