Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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