I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's never too late to be topless.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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