he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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