I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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