Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize