If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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