glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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