And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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