The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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