At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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