Me too!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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