Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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