im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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