Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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