Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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