the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize