i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
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You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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