Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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